im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His nipple licking is glorious
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