I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
