I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
