Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
