So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
