she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
