Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize