I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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