the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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