My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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