ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
