I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
