but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
