I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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