Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
