dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
