Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
