I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize