After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
