I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ladies don't puke and tell
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
