Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How external is "for external use only"?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
