a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
