You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
