Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
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