Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
