But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
