I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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