I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
