we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
