all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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