oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
