Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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