Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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