mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
