Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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