Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
