He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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