this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
