I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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