Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
