You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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