I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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