I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
