I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
