You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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