I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
