dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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