Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
