hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
