We won't sleep together?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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