We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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