Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
