playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
