Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
