I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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