i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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