And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
