speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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