Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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