You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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