things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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