No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
