i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
