clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
