Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
